The Myth of Work-Life ‘Balance’
A Talk with the TN Titans Young Professionals Network
By: Jillian Richardson, Licensed Therapist
On May 7, 2024, I spoke to the TN Titans Young Professionals Network about work-life balance: a sweet-sounding but misleading term that can trick us into believing that our work performance can and should be put on the same level of importance as our physical & mental health, interpersonal relationships, and our spiritual well-being.
I once heard someone say, "It's impossible to keep all the plates spinning. So, you'll have to choose which plates are porcelain and which are plastic." I visualize the aspects and circumstances in your life that are irreplaceable as the porcelain plates. If these drop, they shatter, leaving a mess for you to deal with. Your relationship with your children; fidelity in your marriage; your financial future; your grades in med school; your standing in the community as a public figure; your spirituality and/or faith; the stability of your mental health; managing your chronic illnesses or your recovery from alcohol or drugs. I'd venture to guess that most people would consider these porcelain. However, we have a tendency to toss these bad boys around like hacky sacks.
And conversely, we often treat the areas of life that we could stand to drop once in a while, with the utmost reverence. How many likes you get on social media; having the latest shoes or outfit; the too high value of what your boss thinks of you; fear of negotiating a raise; not wanting to be the first to apologize; not saying what you really want to say; beating yourself up for not getting that promotion you didn't even really want; people-pleasing; toxic parent-pleasing; people-bashing; being with the in-crowd. These are situations and beliefs that we can afford to *DMX voice* "STOP, DROP..." I'll let y'all finish the rest.
I encouraged the young professionals to aim at prioritization, not balance. As many of us have discovered (often through trial and error), it is impossible to adequately devote equal time and attention to all aspects of life. Several people shared personal experiences with navigating self-care in the corporate world; positive and negative stressors that weigh them down; and internal and external pressure to not let others down.
The bottom slideshow recaps the 10 minute Progressive Muscle Relaxation activity in which the group engaged; consistent use of PMR is widely known to mitigate symptoms of PTSD, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, and Insomnia. I frequently encourage my clients to find a PMR video on YouTube or any meditation app that jives with their preferences and make it part of their daily or nightly rhythm. Try it yourself, bucko!
After I educated the group on the evidence-backed effectiveness of this relaxation/grounding exercise, I educated them on other practical techniques that assist with grounding oneself & calming the nervous system. We briefly touched on the concept of rest as a productive act that is best utilized to pre-empt burnout. We discussed 7 different types of rest (see image to the left). Finally, I gave each person a grounding object in the form of a rock with a motivational word engraved on it, to take with them as a reminder to be present and live in the now. ∎
